I learned
by CreeBlackCatGal
Summary: An arranged marriage isn't what Matthew wanted, but Ivan is determined to give him a happily ever after. Can they learn to love each other or regret life? Warning for major feels and smut


**4230 words. That's how long this is…**

 **Anyways, this came to me and I'm currently editing a new chapter for Hurt Me, it should be ready later today or earlier tomorrow. Now for this, I am giving you a BIG feels warning. I fucken started to cry!**

 **Like legit cry. I teared up and tears slide down my bloody face! And yes, this is smut but oh those feels T.T Anwyas, if you only want to read smut, go ahead I will give you another warning before the feelsies train arrives with this ~~Feels ahead~~**

 **But otherwise, enjoy~**

Matthew sat awkwardly in the chair in the dimly lit room. A large bed with silk blankets and pillows the colour of night lay in the middle of the room. Netting with crystals embed in the strands wrapped around it like a veil. It was beautiful. In any other occasion he would have marveled at the room but tonight he couldn't.

A tear slipped down his cheek as he tried to imagine himself back in his old room with his books and silence. Here it was too loud. He could hear men yelling in joy as they drank. It was strange to him. These sounds of trumpets and drums scared him. He had grown up without contact with other people so he was afraid.

He wore a long white golden dress made with silk and lace, the silk was as soft and a dragon's heart while the lace was as fine as unicorn hair. It clung to his body as if it was painted on, or was it his form fitting the dress perfectly?

Matthew didn't worry about it and stood up to sit at the mirror. He wanted to look at himself to remember what he looked like before the night was over. His lips were as red as the first drop of blood glistening under the moon. Eyes, as pure as an amytheset by the candle light, he was beautiful, or at least everyone said he was. He didn't really know.

Someone knocking at the door scared him.

"H-Hello" Matthew called out as he stood up and hid behind the veil, not that it hid him very well, but it offered him some comfort.

The door opened to reveal a man, a few years older than Matthew himself at the young age of 19. At least, he considered himself to be young but most of the maids that brought him new books and his meals, and they all said that girls as young as 14 were married so Matthew was technically old to be married.

The door opened to reveal his new husband who wore a long scarf. It was said that he never took it off for anything. Matthew noted that he had lost his jacket at some point in the evening and that a few people followed him in.

His father, king Arthur who wore a large crown and his brother who wore the prince's crown. Both crowns were made of gold and embedded with jewels but their father's was more elaborate. The pastor who married both Ivan and Matthew came in along with two servants. One was Matthew's and the other Ivan's.

Matthew didn't wear a crown like his brother, he instead wore his mother's tiara. It was thin and the silver wires formed flowers over it with a single diamond that dangled in the middle.

Matthew stood up and held onto the sides of his dress and curtsied deeply, not looking at any of those who came in.

"May I have a moment with my wife?"

Matthew looked up surprised as his father nodded and stepped out followed by everyone else. This left Matthew and Ivan alone in the room.

"M-My lord?" Matthew inquired.

Ivan said nothing as he stepped closer to Matthew and tilted his chin up to better peer at Matthew's face, "I did not get the change to gaze upon you very well this evening."

Matthew stuttered out an apology.

"I do not blame you, I am sure that you are afraid… after all, we never even got to know each other's names till the wedding."

Matthew nodded, it was true. When he heard Ivan's name he remembered a few stories of a warrior named Ivan and he feared that Ivan was the Ivan he'd heard about.

It was.

Ivan was a feared warrior who killed easily and without care. Matthew however, imagined him to look scary but now that Ivan stood before him, he questioned the stories. He had a sweet face.

"I will try to make tonight as easy on you as I can… But it will hurt." Ivan said as he stroked Matthew's chin with his thumb, "and for that I'm sorry."

"Ivan, may we return?" Arthur asked as he opened the door to peek in.

Matthew stepped back and blushed.

"Da, you may." Ivan lowered his hand as he undid the buttons on his shirt.

Matthew didn't know much about how to get out of the dress so he stood their awkwardly until his maid got the hint and stepped forward to help. The maid only got the ties undone at the back before Ivan said he wanted to be the one to undress Matthew. The maid nodded and stepped away with a simple, "as you wish."

Matthew shook as Ivan stepped behind him and continued to loosen the corset.

Once Ivan was done he kissed Matthew on the shoulder as he let the dress fall to the ground. "To bed now my love." Ivan whispered in Matthew's ear.

Matthew didn't say anything and instead went to the bed now fully undressed. He blushed as the others could see him naked. He did his best to ignore their stares as he climbed onto the bed and laid back.

His maid told him to do as told and to relax as much as possible. That the more compliant he was, the easier his husband would be, therefore the easier the release.

Matthew stared at the veil around him, imaging the crystals to be starts in the sky.

Ivan stepped forward as he undid his pants and let them drop around his feet. He stepped out of them unabashed by being in a room naked. It was just so that they could say that their wedding had been consummated. Ivan didn't care much for being watched but it had to be done, the union between their kingdoms meant the end of war and peace.

Staring at Matthew's body, all blood rushed down to Ivan's cock with immediately began to harden and swell. Once at the bed, Ivan used one hand to sooth the swell and climbed onto the bed over Matthew who still shook and wouldn't look at him.

Ivan knew that Matthew would not have good memories of this night or of him. If Matthew didn't fear him before, he would now. He was large. Even when flaccid he was large but as he came closer and grew, Matthew struggled to believe that 'that' was going to go inside him.

"On your hands and knees Matthew." Ivan instructed Matthew, who immediately did as told.

Matthew quickly did as Ivan told him and was glad to be able to face the pillow and not those who he called father and brother.

"The vial if you would." Ivan said to the maid who quickly brought him a crystal vial filled with lubrication. Ivan uncorked it and poured a small amount onto his fingers and rubbed it over Matthews back entrance.

It was cold and Matthew shivered as he moved away.

Ivan didn't worry about foreplay with Matthew as he wanted to end the evening quickly for Matthew. Needless to say, he would be unable to love Matthew the way he wanted to for their first night.

He poured the remainder of the vial into his hand and quickly smeared it over his cock while he handed the vial back to the maid who took it with a bow before stepping away. Ivan with the lube free hand held Matthew still.

"I am sorry for this Matvei." Ivan thought to himself as he lined himself up against Matthew's asshole and pushed in quickly.

"Please, I never wanted this…" Matthew closed his eyes and tried very hard not to let his emotions spill out. He would try to be the perfect wife, quiet and obedient.

Matthew screamed as he felt the head pushed in, "It hurts, stop!"

Alfred, Matthew's brother looked away in shame and to try and hide form the cries of pain. He had promised to always protect the gem that was his brother. And now, here he was. Crying in pain and unable to do anything.

Ivan grunted, it was so heavenly tight as he filled Matthew's anus completely. He gripped Matthew's waist with both hands and leaned forward. He needed to soak in the feeling a moment and let Matthew adjust before he continued.

"Just breath, focus on breathing and relax." Ivan whispered in Matthew's ear trying to take in Matthew's presence. His back was clear of any scares or blemishes, his hair reminded him of the sun.

Matthew's cries turned to silent whispers as he tried to crawl away. It was a bad decision as Ivan only pulled him back, jamming his dick in even deeper.

Ivan pulled out and thrusted back in slowly before adding in more speed and force. He knew that it hurt Matthew but he knew that the both of them didn't want to be stared at like a couple of whores. Of course, this was the only time that anyone could watch the process of sex and not be accused of spying.

Matthew felt as if he was ripped apart. The feeling of Ivan's cock inside of him practically scrapping against his walls was enough for him to want to swear off sex forever. The lube did nothing to ease it for him.

Ivan leaned back as he focused on one thing only. He pushed and pulled in time with his thrusts to get as deep as possible, the feeling of being completely encase was erotic. He had never known that anyone could feel that great.

Pulling out completely, Ivan flipped Matthew over, who landed with a quite and shocked 'oof'. He wanted to gaze upon his wife's face.

Matthew closed his eyes and turned his head to the side and used his hands to cover his own slightly erect dick. He didn't want anyone to look at him. It was embarrassing.

Ivan grabbed Matthew's legs and moved to the each side before grabbing Matthew's hips to raise him up slightly so he could push back in. He grabbed Matthew's wrists and forced them above Matthew's head.

"So beautiful." He whispered before using his other hand to grab Matthew's chin to force him to look at him. He wanted to see everything

Matthew wasn't strong enough nor was he in a position to fight back. Once he felt Ivan's rough lips on his own, he opened his eyes in surprised. It was during the kiss when he felt Ivan pushing back into him half way.

Being a slobbery mess now, Matthew's back arched up off the bed, "hurts…" He mumbled.

Ivan leaned down and kissed him on the lips again, before leaving a trail of kisses along his jawline to his right ear. He also wanted to offer Matthew a little privacy to cry if he had to. He raised Matthew's wrist up to the headboard and whispered, "Hold onto this."

Matthew frowned but did as asked. His hands clung onto the cold wood.

Once Ivan was sure that Matthew was holding onto the headboard so he didn't hit his head by accident, Ivan made sure that Matthew's hips rested on his highs, legs on his hip before he pushed in fully.

The action caused Matthew to yelp and his whole body moved with Ivan's force, "Oh heavens'!" He squeaked out.

Ivan's body glistened with sweat, and muscles, with a very slight pouch in the belly area. It wasn't very noticeable, almost all of Ivan's body was pure muscle.

Matthew bite his lip when Ivan started to continue to fuck him. It hurt but Matthew's eyes went wide, his toes clenched and he let out a pained yet pleasured moan. There was a small bundle of nerves that Ivan triggered, sending Matthew to a highly pleasured state of erotic bliss.

Ivan grinned, he knew that Matthew would be like putty in his hands now. He mimic his previous action gaining his own pleasure and glad that he could at least try and give Matthew some as well.

Matthew moaned in pleasure and threw his head back into the pillow as his prostate was stimulated by each power filled thrust, every time his protest was hit a wave of intense pleasure went up and down his back.

Ivan quickened his pace, and Matthew let go with his right hand to grip onto Ivan shoulder.

Soon, Matthew pulled Ivan closer and wrapped his arms around the other's shoulder, "There, feels good." Matthew moaned quietly, he was nearing his own release.

Ivan reached between them and wrapped his hand around Matthew's now fully erect cock. He stroked Matthew in time with his thrusts wanting Matthew to at least cum for him. Ivan lost almost all caring of their audience as he focused only on Matthew's sweet blushed face.

Matthew released suddenly, it shocked both him and Ivan as cum squirted onto both of their chests and over Ivan's hand.

Feeling Matthew's ass clenching around his cock, Ivan came moments after. He felt the cum shot out of his dick as he pulled out, leaving a trail. Ivan looked and saw Matthew's now swollen hole quivering as his semen slowly slide out.

Matthew moaned louder when he was filled with Ivan. It was warm, hot even as he laid his head on the pillow taking deep breaths trying to calm his racing heart.

Both Ivan and Matthew heard footsteps, they looked to see their audience walking out, "The consummation is complete, I hope you two have happy lives together as man and wife." Arthur said as he walked out.

Alfred looked at Matthew and bit his lip before starting to walk out, "Bye Mattie."

Matthew huffed out a "bye-bye" to his brother. Matthew and Ivan would ride out the next day back to Ivan's kingdom. It was north and colder, at least that's what he heard. Matthew didn't know. He choose to stay as close to the castle as possible.

"Do you wish for a bath or stay in bed?" Ivan asked after Alfred closed the door, the servants outside the door.

Matthew looked back to Ivan who was still above him, "Umm," Matthew shivered, his sweat covered body now feeling the cool nightly air. "Bed, if it pleases you." He whispered looking to the side and not at Ivan.

With a frown, Ivan took Matthew's chin gently so they would look at each other, "you don't have to be afraid of me little one. I know tonight was rough, but I promise to make it easier on you. Site up a moment and so we can get under the blankets."

Matthew forced a little smile as he did as he was told, "Ow!" His butt hurt and sitting up was not a good idea.

Ivan climbed off and stood on the floor by the bed, he looked at Matthew with concern at the 'ow' and leaned over, "Here, hold onto me a moment."

Looking at Ivan confused, Matthew reached up and held onto Ivan's shoulders.

Ivan easily wrapped his arms around Matthew's body and lifted him up. He did his best to be gentle but Matthew pained flinches and whimpers told him that it wasn't gently enough, "Shh, hold on." Ivan shushed Matthew as he moved to lower the blanket so he could get Matthew under them. He carefully laid his wife down on the bed and help Matthew to get the blankets over his body.

"Why are you doing this? This marriage is just for our kingdoms, not each other." Matthew asked as he held the blanket close to his chest.

Ivan started walking around the bed to his side, "because I need someone who is… soft. You are very soft Matthew. I know that you may hate me after tonight, but for our kingdoms, as long as we can tolerate each other, I will do my best to give you what you want and need."

Matthew listened to Ivan and watched as he got under the covers on his side, "You mean, you need someone to love right?"

He continued on when he didn't hear a reply from Ivan, "I heard that you are blood-thirsty on the battlefield, they you have no heart nor are you capable of loving someone.

I don't know if we'll be happy, and all I wanted was someone to love me, like those songs about lovers living happily ever after. But this is the real world… But I'm willing to try and learn to love you Ivan."

Ivan smiled, "I would like that. I would like to show you that I do have a heart and I will do my best to give you a happily ever after."

Matthew blinked away a tear, "thank you."

Nodding with a yawn, Ivan sat up and leaned over Matthew to kiss away the lonely tear. "Good-night sunflower."

"And to you, husband." The words rolled off Matthew's tongue easier then he originally thought. He laid on his side facing Ivan and curled up.

The married couple did not know this then, but Matthew would be the softness to Ivan's own hardness. They would quickly learn to love each other and their quirks, they would make passionate love repeatedly, Giggle and laugh at each other and at random things, go for strolls in a garden during the summer and build snow figures during winter, hold hands, disagree on things, kiss each other in the rain and snow, raise a beautiful wolf hybrid named Kumajiro, adopt children and grow old together.

They learned to love each other, they learned that love was a powerful force that could not be broken, even by death.

When time passed, and Matthew started to loss his memory and couldn't remember who he or Ivan was, Ivan always made sure to remind him with a kiss or a whisper. There were times when it was bad, Matthew would be bed-ridden for days while Ivan had to go back and forth with work and making sure that Matthew was never left alone for two long.

Matthew feared being alone.

"Do I love you?" Matthew would sometimes ask, when a blank period lasted for a while.

Ivan would smile back and tell him, "Yes, not at first, but over time we did. We went on magical adventures, kissing each other, you once made me a crown with flowers. It was by a little stream. Do you remember?"

"No… I'm afraid I don't remember."

"I'll remind you then," Ivan said reaching out to take Matthew's hand and stroked the knuckles with his thumb, "I held your hand and brought you there. I had found it a few days before and wanted you to see it. So, with your hand in mine I lead you there. You smiled and looked around, birds chirping happily in the trees, a few deer on the other side, and a blanket. There was some food there. I brought you over to that blanket and I raised your hand,"

Ivan gently lifted Matthew's hand to his lips and kissed it,

"To my lips and I kissed it, just like now."

Matthew smiled as he tried to picture this scene out in his mind. It sounded lovely but it didn't trigger any happy memory or anything, he simply believed it to be a beautiful make-belief story.

"Then we sat, enjoyed our lunch, a fawn, with faded spots walked up to us and nibbled on few grapes. I wanted to get the grapes back, but you asked me not to, that you wanted to share the grapes. So we did. The fawn only had a few before leaving. I kissed you then, on your lips. You kissed me back and we laid back and I held you to my chest tightly and we were happy."

"That sounds lovely, thank you for telling me about it. How did you come up with such a beautiful story?" Matthew asked.

Ivan smiled and held Matthew's hand tracing the familiar veins, "I learned it."

Matthew smiled brightly, his eyes now showing signs of blindness and faded with age. His hair was limp and grey, skin no longer as bright as it was in his youth, but Ivan still thought Matthew was as beautiful as ever.

Ivan help Matthew to lay back down so he could rest. He stood up on shaky legs now needing a cane to walk, old and warn where the pair but their love just as strong as it was before. Ivan knew that Matthew's memory loss was getting worse, the blank periods lasting longer, sometimes a couple of days before Matthew even remembered his own name.

But that didn't matter to Ivan. Not at all. You see, he got to tell Matthew about how they learned to love each other over and over again, he got to see Matthew smile and frown at the fictional couples story, he got to see Matthew fall in love with 'Ivan' all over again.

Ivan wobbled out of the room to take a warm bath to sooth his aches and joints. He never stayed away for long, Matthew had a habit of waking up with no one there and it was his worst fear.

Ivan learned that one night during a storm, he went to check on Kuma to bring him to their room. When he returned, Matthew was panicked running room one wall to the next as if he was trying to find a way out without getting close to the window where the rain beat relentlessly against it.

Telling Kuma to stay put, Ivan went to help Matthew who was a blabbering mess. It took about an hour for Ivan to get Matthew to relax enough to see that Ivan was there along with Kuma who jumped onto the bed and waited for them to join.

They slept curled up together, Matthew in the middle with Ivan holding him and Kuma in Matthew's arms.

Ivan sighed at the memory, he woulnd't be able to carry Matthew back to bed anymore but he was still able to snuggle with Matthew.

The bath didn't take long and Ivan was quickly dressed in clean clothes and returned to their bedroom.

"Matvei? You're awake?" Ivan was surprised and a little worried to see Matthew sitting up looking around.

Matthew looked to the door and squinted, "Ivan? Is that you?"

"Yes, I'm here." Ivan started to walk forward with his cane.

Reaching out, Matthew called out for Ivan, "Come here, my love. I need to see you. Come to bed with me."

Ivan did as asked, Matthew was already in the middle of the bed so he sat down and laid back with his wife easily, "You remember me?"

"I do now, I always feel so lost when I can't remember but you always bring me back with our memories." Matthew said turning onto his side so he could be as close as possible to his true love.

"I'm glad. I miss you when you are gone."

"I miss you too, I don't want to die without you Ivan."

Ivan looked to Matthew. But before he could say anything, Matthew aske him.

"Do you think it's possible for us to die together? That our love will carry us off at the same time?"

"I don't know Matthew, but I know that I wouldn't live much longer without you, can we walk about something else or just lay here like this?" Ivan asked, they had talked about what thney would do if the other died, but that was long ago, when they were boht much younger and able to re-marry. Now, they were at that age where they could die any day.

Any minute.

Any second.

"Of course. Kiss me Ivan?" Matthew asked looking up at him.

"Kiss me Matthew?" Ivan joked as he lowered to Matthew's lips and kissed them. Both of them kissed deeply before pulling away to breath.

"Hold me Ivan?" Matthew once again, asked.

Ivan did so, he wrapped his arms around Matthew's thin and frail body. They could feel each other's hearts beating. They were quite now. Old with age but still there, still alive.

"Sleep now Matthew, I'll awake you with a kiss." Ivan said, knowing that he might not be able to, if Matthew was in a blank period he wouldn't want a kiss from a stranger.

"Alright, I'll do my best to stay for it." Matthew blushed a little, he was tired but thrilled to be able to sleep in Ivan's arms again. When Matthew wasn't Matthew, Ivan slept on a smaller bed to the side, as to not distress Matthew when he forgot that Ivan was his husband.

Ivan waited till Matthew drifted off into a deep sleep before giving him another kiss, staying close to his lips. He gently held Matthew's chin and rubbed his thumb along Matthew's lower lip. It was as soft as ever. Ivan licked his lips before kissing Matthew's forehead and resting their foreheads together.

The two lovers passed that night. Ivan first, then Matthew just after him.

They were found the next day, both appeared to be sleeping. It was peaceful, their foreheads still touching and hands interlocked together. You had to get close to see it, but you could see that they were smiling even in death, for their love was everlasting.

 **Told you. I cried when Matthew said that he didn't want to die without Ivan and then again in the last paragraph. I couldn't see the keyboard cuz the tears were blurry.**

 **I hope you liked it and feel free to send me a review (No flames please, *(add in snarky threat for flamers*), favorite this story and follow me for more!**

 **Until next time, Meow~!**


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